Dear beloved Husband,
I know things have been hard for you throughout our marriage, I know that you worry about me often with all of my health problems. Having thyroid disease is hard, but I realize that it’s hard for you to see me struggle and not being able to make things better.
But what you might not know is that you do make things better. Sure, you can’t take away my thyroid disease and all the problems that come with it, but you have been there to help me every step of the way, and that makes all the difference. You make all the difference.
You lovingly help me get out of bed each morning, even if I am everything but loving. Thank you for being patient as I take my thyroid medication and wait for it to take effect. I know I can be very grouchy, moody, tired, and uncommunicative as I mumble to you in the mornings. The reason I don’t say much is not because I’m mad at you, but mornings are just hard and it takes about five minutes to organize a decent response.
Before doctors appointments you listen to my needs, fears, and hopes. You help me gather my thoughts so I can know what to say and be less likely to forget things once I’m there. You might know, but I get very nervous about doctors visits. Despite myself I can’t help but go in with a little bit of hope that things will be able to be back to the way things were before my thyroid disease.
But usually, as I was afraid, one or many doctors visits don’t do all of that, and I can’t help but feel like my hope is a little more crushed. Being told I’m “normal” isn’t what I need to hear from a doctor, because clearly to me and you, I’m not. But being told that still hurts, because it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong to not be or feel “normal”.
When I come home from doctors appointments frustrated, hopeless, or upset you are still there to listen as I recount my visit. You listen, you calm me down, you wipe away my tears, you hold me, you comfort me, you tell me that you love me.
That means a lot.
Thank you for telling me you love me every day. I need your love more than I show you. I need to feel that love from you because many times I struggle to love myself with this disease.
Sometimes I feel like a disappointment as a wife since I’m not always able to do every thing that should be done. But when you come home and help me with small things like fold the laundry, help with dinner, or empty the dishwasher it means the world to me to know that you care enough to help.
I’m sorry if I’m not as kissy, physical, or intimate as you would like. But something about this disease makes me anxious and mildly claustrophobic. Never forget I do love having you near me, even if it isn’t right up next to me. And I do appreciate your signs of affection, even though I don’t usually respond well. It isn’t you, and you aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s just how I am right now.
Thank you for being patient as we work through this together.
Although I may not always be the best at showing it or telling you so, I do love you so much. There isn’t anyone else in this world I would rather have for a husband. You are my other half I couldn’t live without.
I love you.